Redefining Self-Care as Self-Investment

While there has been in the last decade a constant cultural buzz on the importance of self-care and the variety of ways in which that can be defined, I still find many clients who consider self-care as a reductionist set of practices that focus solely on personal hygiene (i.e. showing, bathing, facials, keeping a clean house) or acts of self-indulgence (i.e. massages, eating chocolate, buying something new). While any one of these things can be a way of turning our attention onto ourselves and doing something positive, they may not be encompassing the kind of self-care practices we somatic mental health therapists would like to promote for clients only because the intentions and possibilities are far greater than the two perspectives listed above.

When consulting definitions of ‘care’, Webster’s Dictionary reveals two interesting statements:

·      A person that is the object of attention

·      Responsibility for or attention to health, well-being, safety

When I consider placing my attention on someone or something I also take in the process of attuning towards, in other words a curious and non-judgmental tuning in. In the case of ‘self-care’ then, it truly is an act of tuning into self, placing attention on oneself and subsequently discerning how to invest in our own safety and well-being.  When was the last time you slowed down from the pace of life and truly tuned in to yourself asking what you might need to feel safe or well?  The act of this one quiet self-inquiry followed by the act of listening is already a leap towards what I call 'self-investment'.

When we dedicate ourselves to a self-investment practice, we gather things into our life that serve us, nurture us, strengthen us, and nourish us. Self-investment practice need not to feel rigid, regimented, or forced, while at the same time consistency and repetition often are investments into new and healthy patterns.

When I work with clients on healing from trauma, nervous system regulation, and shifting out of negative pattern loops, self-investment practices are at the core of change. How clients spend their time investing in themselves outside of session, makes all the difference in their process of change and healing. Old patterns of protection might manifest in scrolling social media, overeating, binge-watching, isolation, or reactive irritability in relationships to name a few; but new patterns start with self-investment practices that can eventually aid in regulating your nervous system and eventually crowd out and lessen old pattern loops.

Self-investment practices are ultimately the choice of the individual and may take some experimentation in developing a diverse portfolio of small acts that invest in mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Practices that engage the body are scientifically known for aiding in emotional and nervous system regulation. The quality of doing one act at a time to feel the full effects is more advantageous than multi-tasking and allows for more attunement to present moment awareness. Furthermore, self-investment acts need not be long and drawn out, rather 2-5 minutes a handful of times of day is a method I call "guppy-sips", like a fish coming up for air gently and repeatedly.

Examples of a few self-investment practices may be: listening to birds, barefoot walking, five-minute yoga, petting a dog/cat, dancing, playing/listening to music, tai chi rocking, humming/singing, hugging a tree.

Consider small acts of investing in yourself daily. If working with a therapist, use that therapeutic space to explore how you might start engaging in a self-investment practice. Your therapist can also help you explore the obstacles that may be getting in the way of tuning into yourself and investing in your well-being.