Befriending Slow

Slowness feels an extreme counter to our current culture where the norm adheres tightly to a life of multi-tasking, short quick deadlines, and back-to-back scheduling amidst the bombardment of lightning speed information and stimuli from the digital world.

When we land in the thick of life struggles that can steer us into anxiety or depression we yearn for rapid change, a quick alleviation from our suffering and perhaps solutions outside of ourselves that can tend immediately to the discomfort. Given the reinforced model of expectation fed to us from media that solutions to our anguish should be and can be swift, an invitation to slow down sounds counter-intuitive and virtually impossible. Yet learning to slow ourselves can be exactly the medicine needed to mitigate discomfort.

The core of somatic-based psychotherapy is to slow down. The therapy itself is intrinsically slow and does not offer quick-fixes or fast solutions; rather the therapeutic container is representative of a safe harbor where waters are still and calm, offering a refuge from the storm of emotional dysregulation.

Learning to slow takes time, and practice. For most of us moving and processing at a slower pace feels foreign and this makes sense since we have been swimming in the fast lane for most of our lives. However, as we learn to slow ourselves and we increase our tolerance for slower pacing in our interactions, breathing, and responses the key shift happens in our nervous system which translates slow to a sense of safety. When safety is experienced repeatedly in the therapeutic container a wide variety of healing and repair can begin to happen including a decrease in anxiety and depression along with the ability for the client to make clear and intentional choices around how to design their life and well-being.

Ways in which you can practice slow on your own can happen with very little time investment to start. Consider pausing simply to let your breath slow, inviting in a slower inhale and allow for a slower exhale and repeating that for 4-5 rounds. This will have a biological effect at slowing your heart rate and perhaps provide more clarity in your thinking. A second practice could be the 30-Second Slow Gaze in which you divert your attention from your digital screen or task and pause to slowly let your eyes gaze about your environment. Invite yourself to notice details that perhaps you don’t pause to see in your task-oriented-mode, such as wood grain, light reflections, or unique patterns.  No hurriedness or rush to complete this invitation, rather from time to time let your eyes land and linger on something curious.

When practicing the above invitations resistance is natural as the case with anything new or out of the norm. You may find your thinking telling you this is useless or feel an urge that you are not being productive enough or perhaps the cynicism surfaces and tells you this is trite or ineffective. The key to a practice is repetition and pushing a bit past that resistant thinking so that you can feel the benefits of slowness over time.

Slowness provides rich potential in the path towards mental well-being despite the difficulty to engage in a slower pace. Self-permission to take things slower from time to time and to practice the art of slow can be challenging in our fast-paced world, yet with time anyone can learn to utilize slowed experiences for their own emotional regulation and healing. Working with a somatically-trained therapist who understands how to titrate towards a slower pacing for the purpose of creating safety can be beneficial for many who feel that slowing down feels unreachable.

Ultimately, the pace in life’s interactions matters and taking your pacing cues from the speed of the world around may not always be the gear best suited for you.

Slow can be a good friend while everything else speeds by.